With thanks to Porange for the original idea and some suggestions, Entimix for the Flours joke, and Fudge for the Friends TV series joke.

Here are some other suggestions that didn’t make the cut:

  • If friends were flowers, then hugh heffner would have marigolds on his arms.
  • If friends were flowers, then bugspray would be an acceptable contraceptive.
  • If friends were flowers, then drinking rosewater would be banned.
  • If friends were flowers, it would be easier to buttonhole them.
  • If friends were flowers, I’d invest in weedkiller
  • If friends were flowers, cloning would be less of a morality issue.
  • If friends were flowers, poppies would be drug dealers